(Dialogue)

Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke
You gotta understand
It's just our bringin' up-ke
That gets us out of hand
Our mothers all are junkies
Our fathers all are drunks
Golly Moses, natcherly we're punks

Gee, Officer Krupke, we're very upset
We never had the love that ev'ry child oughta get
We ain't no delinquents
We're misunderstood
Deep down inside us there is good

There is good
There is good, there is good
There is untapped good
Like inside, the worst of us is good

That's a touchin' good story
Lemme tell it to the world
Just tell it to the judge

Dear kindly Judge, your Honour
My parents treat me rough
With all their marijuana
They won't give me a puff
They didn't wanna have me
But somehow I was had
Leapin' lizards! That's why I'm so bad

Right
Officer Krupke, you're really a square
This boy don't need a judge, he needs an analyst's care
It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed
He's psychologic'ly disturbed

I'm disturbed
We're disturbed, we're disturbed
We're the most disturbed
Like we're psychologic'ly disturbed

"In the opinion on this court, this child is depraved on account he ain't had a normal home."
"Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived."
"So take him to a headshrinker."

My daddy beats my mommy
My mommy clobbers me
My grandpa is a commie
My grandma pushes tea
My sister wears a moustache
My brother wears a dress
Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess

Yes!
Officer Krupke, he shouldn't be here
This boy don't need a couch, he needs a useful career
Society's played him a terrible trick
And sociologic'ly he's sick

I am sick
We are sick, we are sick
We are sick, sick, sick
Like we're sociologically sick

"In my opinion, this child don't need to have his head shrunk at all
Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease"
"Hey, I got a social disease!"
"So take him to a social worker!"

Dear kindly social worker,
They tell me get a job
Like be a soda jerker,
Which means that I'm a slob
It's not I'm anti-social
I'm only anti-work
Gloryosky! That's why I'm a jerk

Eek!
Officer Krupke, you've done it again
This boy don't need a job, he needs a year in the pen
It ain't just a question of misunderstood
Deep down inside him, he's no good

I'm no good
We're no good, we're no good
We're no earthly good
Like the best of us is no damn good

The trouble is he's lrazy
The trouble is he drinks
The trouble is he's crazy
The trouble is he stinks
The trouble is he's growing
The trouble is he's grown
Krupke, we got troubles of our own

Officer Krupke
We're down on our knees
'Cause no one wants a fellow with a social disease
Gee, Officer Krupke
What are we to do
Gee, Officer Krupke,
Krup you.
